A Kiss of despair!

It was at around 12:20 pm on 09/07/11 when I went for cycling as there are not much of options left since the power went off owing to some electrification maintenance across the campus. The day wasn’t as good since morning as I was beckoned by nightmare. Indeed that week was very hectic and wretched. I placed my wallet in the back pocket of my pant and went for a ride, certainly in hunt of scenes as I was planning to shoot a short film in the coming weekend. I explored around for about five minutes and came back to the dorm as the sun was too strong. To my surprise my wallet wasn’t in my pocket. I immediately rushed back to the spot; it was not more than few minutes. I found my wallet lying on the pathway but unfortunately the cash was taken off. It was ridiculous. Oh god! It contains two thousand US dollars; it was a huge amount for me. I couldn’t do anything for a moment, just remained still aimlessly.

Wow! Am I day dreaming? I really can’t deem it. I rubbed off my eyes and gazed around but nobody surrounds me. I could explicitly remember the faces of some ladies and a guy whom I came across on my way back. I then went in search of those people to ask whether they have come across my wallet or not. I was pretty sure that I won’t get back anymore yet I asked the dorm officer and senior students to help me out. Willingly they left everything behind and came out to lend their hand. We went across the campus asking the students and begging for their support. Usually there use to be CCTV covering almost every part of the campus but coincidently that moment CCTV’s are shut off as there is no power supply. It didn’t favor me.

The dorm officer has suggested me to call the police but I refused firstly as it is all due to my stupidity and carelessness. Secondly it would be very in-kind to call the police in a university where innovative learning and teaching is taking place. I as a Buddhist I feel it’s very impolite to entertain such intervention. Thirdly everything has all occurred within the university campus, I have trust in our unity (SHIN U) living under the same roof as a family. So I expect them to return one day or the other. The dorm officers even asked for my wallet to send it for fingerprint examination, neither had I done that. Because, without the notion of such inspection my wallet was touched by many who ever have come to help me out. That would further perplex the investigation.

I was totally fruitless and doomed; I feel as if I have drunk some intoxicating drugs. Where ever I go, whatever I do and where ever I live everything seems very unfilled and lonely. I walked by my shadow, feel the beat of my heart and listen to its rhythm inhaling the air of misery. I was engrossed into the jar of despair and mourning. The seed of ache has entered deep within the valley of my heart exhilarating every petals of my body. Like the sunken plant in daylight I was condemned by my fate. I am not happy with my karmic relation. Depressed with such incursion I then buried myself beneath the blanket. Placing my head on over the pillow I prayed may the sum is owned by a very needy person and gets his dreams fulfilled. May it be spent for the betterment of sentient beings or else at least for the cause of good. May it won’t lead to erroneous trail and turmoil.  And may it cleanse away all my misfortunes and purify my mind.  The sun has set off as I was sad and disheartened and I wonder what will the next sunrise give rise to.

The nights were sleepless, meals were flavorless, everything is very gloomy and the weekend goes by. However, with the break of day on 11/07/11 I went to consult with the international affair division of the university. As they and the senior students suggested me instantly I along with the dorm officer have scheduled to go to the police station the next day at 1:00PM. But before that as recommended by the registrar and my only friend I have circulated a notification to all the students in the dorm asking for the kind return in case anyone of them have it. The day passed by without any outcome rather made me well known to everyone for my silliness and idiocy. At the end of the day everyone shows their sympathy and empathy on me.

Finally the much awaited day programmed to march toward the police station has came by. But before we leave the campus, amazingly I have received an email from somebody enclosed with directions and instructions to fetch my cash from somewhere else. I really didn’t believe on it, I thought it would be junk. On the contrary I was scared, shivering and quivering like anything as I was told to come alone. I was sitting on a fence. If I go I am terrified something bad might happen but if I don’t I am worried I may not get back my cash. Nevertheless, beholding my guardian deities and god above somehow I made my presence to the mentioned place. But sadly I couldn’t see anyone nearby. I was further frustrated and annoyed. I then called my friends and dorm officer to the place, showed them the email and we all gazed around. Since the directions weren’t clear it took more than an hour to fetch back the money. Wrapped by a plastic the dollars are now once again at my sight giving me immensurable pleasure and gratification. I was speechless, the tears of happiness roll down my face. I have never expected that my money would return back to me. So unexpectedly we found and that lead me on top of the world. Everything is brightened and sensitized. Like a syringe it sucks away all the twinge and distress in me. I could feel the serenity at SIU once again.



image from google



Such sense of humanity is highly appreciated and regarded. I feel it is a vital sentiment that should be cherished and further nourished for every seconds of my life. However, now it is my utmost curiosity and excitement to meet that person. Whoever it may be he/she really deserves a reward for it. I wonder how to do that. The possibility could be consulting with the IT person and check through the IP address. But I am afraid he/she might get humiliated or else the management of the university might take action against him/her. When he/she could have such a heart to return back my money I feel my heart must understand their rosy language of kindness and benevolence. But I will definitely outsource an alternative to reward them. More than the money, seventy four hours of despair and mourn over my lost cash have taught me a greater lesson to be treasured for the rest of my life and more importantly to be a better human being with a golden heart and soul that’s what animates us as human beings.