Love verses life

Reflecting upon my past twenty years from now I have achieved nothing more besides the classroom knowledge. I could clearly recollect and remember the moments of my friend’s merrymaking, singing, dancing, playing and so on but I never had such times of my own. Why is it so? Why I can’t when my friends could? Why am I so feeble and ineffectual? Hundred and one such questions remained unanswered in my mind. Sometimes I think god is bias in creating human beings with unequal talents. I have always been very shy and I didn’t have any courage to face the world. If I am to pin point my problems it would be numerous and someone may simply laugh and assume that I must have gone out of mind and speaking nonsense. Perhaps, lack of confidence to participate and not having nerve to try it out has always made me an idle man.

For as long as I can remember I have known what I wanted to do with my life. Science has always been a passion of mine and mathematics in particular has interested me for quite a long time. Dedicating my life to improving the lives of others is very appealing to me, commitment and sincerity for the social service is certainly the acme of my curiosity. In addition it has also been my keen interest and great desire to become an inspiring, innovative and competent architect. Throughout my primary and high school thus far I have taken a rigorous curriculum and maintained good records. But in terms of co-curriculum activities I am nil. I was futile, pathetic and irresponsive introvert, scared of cultural, sports, and other co-curricular activities, forget about the brain-tackling literary tricks. Bounded by four walls I was unacquainted with the advanced technologies relatively stacked with the outdate possessions. Perhaps these are the shortcomings of inadequate disclosure.



Shinawatra International University

 University is the time for new and exciting experiences as well as a time to explore diverse and pioneering ideas. What could be better than travelling to a foreign country to learn about their ideas, history and culture? I believe study abroad is something that every student should do to help avoid ethnocentrism, to expand their horizons and to appreciate everything the world has to offer. I am obliged to be in an International University for my higher studies where facilities are ample and abundant, resources are bounty and everything is accessible at the finger tips. Studying in a foreign country is an experience unlike any I have had. The classes were challenging and thought provoking. On the contrary lack of skills to incorporate and avail the amenities is as good as not having any. For instance most of the students especially the fresher’s ride on bicycle and explore the campus. Green paddy fields and calm lake around the university add upon the beauty of campus as if it floats over the lake like an island. But for the past couple for weeks I was the only guy who burdens my poor foots walking round. My mates have consistently asked me to go for a ride together but I refused. Perhaps they may get embarrassed if I say the truth.

However, now I made mindful decision and swear myself that I will amend with the changing realities provided if the change is positive. Trounce through challenges and face intricacy with audacity and fortitude. I won’t wait for happy moment any longer; rather I will try and make every moment happy and memorable.

But I had a very bad, nonsensical and amusing dream of intermingling with a gorgeous and eye-catching lady.  Indeed, I was a bit depressed with the cheating mind instilling me with such an image. To worsen the nocturnal ponderings, broodings or lamenting I was fallen to an unexpected person. My mind contemplates and cast spell over her. I don’t know whether it is a pure coincidence or fate, we met all of sudden and before I could hear her name, she passed by. Never have I known before who now constantly dwells in my heart and haunts me time and again.  She is stunning and the world is after her, to keep the world out from following her is what my heart yearns. I wonder how and why my meager mind has expected a tender love from such a stranger. That’s too foolish of me. At times I wish if human flesh is as transparent as glasses, where she could read my emotions before I utter myself. Worst than the thousand stabs of dagger, love hurts and perforates my heart, certainly I don’t have any idea on how I shall heal the pain in my heart. In such times I hate myself for being what I am and I feel my living is just a burden on this earth. We never have what we like and never like what we have, yet life persists and that’s life. Oh god! Sooner the better free me from all such absurd feelings.