The Shadow of Love - V

by 10:55 PM 0 comments


It was quite a relieve to know that she haven’t yet checked my email (love letters) but what confused me further is why she would have acted differently. I had to guess before she could finally say it. “Was it something that I said?” She shook her head, “Was it something that I did?” It was something that I did. She had seen me with another girl. She said doubtfully, “Last weekend, you said you had to work”. She said it in her lower tone of voice, as if afraid, saying it any louder would trigger a bullet in her head.

I had to come to work, the weekend she was referring to. But I also had an appointment with an internship student. It was his instruction, my boss that I had to meet that young girl and interview her at the hotel. And we had talked about nothing but work. Kate must have been somewhere near, saw us and made something up in her mind. I was mad at her “You should have talked to me instead of making assumptions on your own” I said to her. She looked away. When I caught a glimpse of her again, there were tears in her check. The fond feeling that came to me when I first saw her came again, lingered, reminding me that I loved her, so very much. 

“Come on, let’s go” She said, and I followed her till we reached her car. We got into her car and she drove off. We remained silent as if we are taking a vow of silence. She didn't turn on the music either and it was a complete pin drop silence as if opening our mouth would cost gold. I forgot about the speech that I rehearsed before reaching the restaurant, forgot about my car, and forgot about Jackson. I just wanted her to drive far away from everything, far away from any human being, to the secret world that was unknown to mankind so that it would be just the two of us.

She didn't take me to the world unknown to mankind. Instead she took me to her apartment. It was a fairly beautiful apartment. The place smelled like her, giving me a sudden sense of familiarity. Everything was kept neat and clean. She walked slowly to the far end window where the bed was and sat on the bed facing the window. I followed her and stood by the window in silent like a helpless man. The silence grew, it went on and on. It drew a distance between us, yards away, far, no longer within the reach and then lost.

“David!” she said, startling me. I turned and there she was, still on that bed within my reach, reaching out her hands to me. I came closer to the bed and sat next to her, she felt so close and warm. And then she raised her soft hands to touch me in my cheek and pulled me closer to her. My head fell to her shoulder and that was when I realized she was right there beside me, never felt as close and warm and I said, “Don’t leave me.” She tightened her grip on my head and I wrapped my arms around her repeating; “Don’t leave me.”

image from google
I wanted to express my love for her but somehow for some reason my tongue seemed to freeze. When she lifted up her head to look at me, our eyes met. Her expression had turned soft. She gave me a smile. It was her usual peaceful smile that made me fall so deeply in love with her.

“Are you sure you didn't go through my email?” I asked. She shook her head. “Did you send me some important message” she asked. I nodded cautiously. There she checked her email. I slowly took her hands into me. I was scared this time. Scared of what might await us ahead. But she just looked at me with her peaceful smile, as if nothing in the world could ever shake her. And I read her my letters word to word to which she said “this is of no surprise to me.”

She held me tight in her arms and asked “Are you scared?” “A little” I nodded my head. “I could feel your heart beat, you are pulsing so fast” she whispered into my ears. She looked into my eyes and said, “it’s okay.” She looked confident as she had never before. She added “I also want to make it clear that I may have looked on you differently but not with less love.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time. Slowly we drifted into our own world, the world isolated, so quiet, where there was only us and nobody else but The Shadow of Love.



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Dorji Penjor

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