Read The Shadow of Love - II
Read The Shadow of Love - III
“David!” I heard her
voice so gentle and weak.
“Hi” I said, suddenly
became soft hearing her sheer voice. “I am taking a week off,” she said. “Just
wanted to let you know” she added. “Don’t worry about me. You just take care of
yourself, bye” her voice sounded heavy. Before I could speak my mind she bade
goodbye. She rushed to end the conversation. I was back to staring at my phone.
And I was so haunted by the thought of her. She was always on my mind; I couldn't stop thinking about her. Memories played in my mind over and over again like a
movie. She kept ringing me like music that I have longed for million years. Everything
about Kate suddenly felt so precious to me. I had continued the habit of
checking my phone every five minutes, even at work, fearing that I might miss
her call if ever she calls me. At night, I had gotten used to gazing at my
phone, fighting back the urge to call her.
When she didn't dare to
call, at one point of time I had a thought. I would not beg for her love. I would
not call or message her either. I would disappear from her world. And she would
think of me. She would realize that she lost the guy who truly loves her. Knowing her she would change her mind and look
for me. Except that even weeks later, she didn't call. And I knew I have lost
my own game.
One morning I
accidentally stepped on the white pebbles, on which she drew some beautiful
flowers and gave it to me; all thoughts of her came to me at once. I reran
everything that had happened in my mind and realized I couldn't lose her. There
were much more to behold than ignore. I didn't want to lose our friendship over
such an abstract thing called love. So breaking through all the forces of
doubts I phoned her to say sorry.
“David! I thought you
were never going to call me,” she exclaimed. “Would you mind, if we talk over a
dinner, I have a lot more to tell” I said. “Of course I would completely
understand if otherwise you are engaged” I added quickly. “I am sorry David” she
sounded surprise, she continued. “I am sorry for what happened but I would love
to meet you” her voice went softer. “Saying sorry won’t change anything, Kate.
I want to know what is going on with you” I demanded firmly. But I didn't have
a clue where she stayed for the last whole week. She never told me the address
not that I remembered, so I asked her whereabouts and left with my car.
I arrived at the
address Kate gave me. I took out the phone and called her. “Kate, I am here” I
said, swallowing an empty air down my throat. I waited for Kate in front of the
building as she asked me to earlier and when I finally saw her body walking
slowly toward me, I had to fight the urge to run and pull her into my arms, to
tell her I was sorry, so sorry.
She stopped in front of
me and said my name in a kind of regret. And then she brought her view back to
me. She smelled fresh but she looked tired and worn out. There were dark
circles under her eyes; she might not have been sleeping well lately. In her
eyes I saw the bitterness. Without saying anything she led me inside the Restaurant.
“I am glad to meet you,” I said. She said nothing. She dropped her gaze down to
the concrete floor. And then we walked in silent. Taking few steps forward I
asked, “Kate, Did I interrupt you”. Even in my own ears the words sounded
distant.
“No… Not at all” she
kept walking. There was tiredness in her face, tame eyes and soft expression
that made me suddenly feel so fondly of her. But I said it anyway; “How long
are you planning to keep at this?” she didn't answer. We have reached the restaurant
and took our seats near the window side. “Wait here, don’t go anywhere, okay?”
she said to me softly but quite earnestly, locking her eyes to mine until I nod
my heads. Then she left. I turned towards the window, in silent I had a
lingering thought that this was all a mistake that I should not have asked for
dinner in the first place that I looked nothing more than just a pathetic man
in her eyes now. She was probably staging the kindest way to get rid of me in
her mind.
When she finally came
back, she was wearing a sweet smile. She ordered for my favorite dish. She
talked about what was on the street, peeping through the window, made some
comments on it. She didn't talk about Jackson or anything about my letter. She instead
jogged my memory talking about the places we had gone to, things we had done
together in the past and other happy things about us. And for a moment, I felt
like nothing had happened between us.
As she continued
talking, I studied her face, her lips, and her chicks as she drew a smile and
laughed lightly, as if I had never seen it so close before. I had thought
earlier, what was it about Jackson that made her fall so deeply in love with
him? What was it that he did so differently than I did? But as I sat beside her
on that table, I thought I understood.
Finally I said “What in
me has annoyed you so much?” She didn't say anything. “Was it my email?” I
asserted. “Email?” she sounded surprise. It seems she hasn't read my email yet.
to be continued...
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