He kindly withdraw his icy hands

“Uncertainty is the only certainly” I remember the post on the profile of my friend’s (Leoparsica) face book. I then commented on his beautifully phrased post, so uncertain life is, we can’t foresee the future yet we can prepare for it, it’s the way of life that we don’t like what we have and don’t have what we like, yet life persist. So keep going…………….

The gate ways were wide open, securities ground to death, he boldly enters with no one’s obstruction. He is now to take pleasure in my flesh and blood. No mercies he preferred my right lungs, perhaps much softer for him to masticate. With every bite his poison spreads across my nerves, enters deep within exhilarating every petals, like the sunken plant in the daylight I was condemned, it was poor me feebly fainted on my bed. Loss in weight, low appetite, lethargy, joint pains, chest pain, high fever, headache, cough and sleepless nights are some of the strong symptoms. Yet not satisfied, he let in his troops (disease causing bacteria’s and viruses) and broke out to war. So vulnerably I fought to shield but just get my men (antibodies) killed. My stomach grumbles like the blasting of explosives, cough like shooting of bullets leaves a tremendous pain to my fragile chest, vomiting out bloods with mucus, probably am holding my last breath. I was badly defeated; the war was in his favor.

“Your immune system is too weak and you are prone to any disease” said the doctor. “Through the report of your blood, sputum and X-ray I have diagnosed that you are suffering from Pulmonary Lungs Tuberculosis”. No sooner the medication is in progress my situation has exacerbated certainly due to the side effect of heavy medication as advised by the doctor. Numerous complications, such as shooting diarrhea, headache, fever, abdominal pain and so on has crop up. More than the stab of dagger my stomach aches and as bad as hit by hammer a thousand times my head and bones hurt as if going to split apart. Body temperature keeps on fluctuating, in times I sweats too badly that the nurse needs to place ice water over my forehead to cool down to normal and at times I freeze and quiver to the extent that the nurse need to use electric-hot pillow to warm me up. It was an awful illness. I never thought this time he will let me go but thank god he did. Seconds counts, minutes goes and hours passes by so desolately I was admitted for another two weeks.

With no pleasure and comfort, consumption flavorless meals, sleepless nights, so condemned yet with certain contemplations I spent the first couple of days in the hospital. I am restricted from visiting by the outsiders saying that my disease might spread around. It was frantic I desperately miss my mother’s love and care especially for his diseased son. I feel I am so unattended. The tears rolls down through my checks, sadness sprung from my heart and loneliness further intricate the situation. I then realized it’s very thorny to resist pain and sufferings and that too in a foreign soil. My friends and lecturers visited me time and again, though we have limited time of half an hour to be spent together. Their soothing words are very conducive and provide enough solace to my perforated and destined life. “All diseases are caused by mind, so be strong, eat well and take enough rest, you will be alright” said one of my lecturer. It was so inspiring and stimulating.

The gusty wind than carries away the message to the office of Bhutan Embassy and then it fled back to Bhutan knocking at my mother’s door. Astonishingly, she rings me with the message “your flight ticket is confirmed, fly back to Bhutan, you can do your treatment here or I don’t have to worry much as you are under my nose”. In fact I don’t want my only gracious mother to let her down at any cost but now so hysterically I couldn’t keep her smiling. Am dreadfully missing her and when I hear from her it’s my utmost delight that comes with tears and moan. Yet I couldn’t go back due to certain uncomfortable circumstances.

However now am glad to see improvements in my health and am getting better day by day. With every rise of sun my pains and aches are reducing and declining. I sincerely offer my gratitude and thankfulness for everyone who felt sorry for my sickness and especially those who arranged everything to the best of my comfort and betterment. Hope everyone will render your same helping hand in the times to come…… Six months of medication is not a short duration so I must prepare for it too.